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[原创]一个故事

[原创]一个故事

Once upon a time, there was an island called Carefree Island. It was not inhabited by people but by feelings. They were Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, Vanity, Richness, Love and all others. They lived on the island with harmony although their temperaments were totally different. Happiness was always happy. He did not have any misgiving about worries. It seemed that nothing would make him sorrowful. Sadness was a fan of sentimentalism. She was always depressed and melancholy. Richness had a lot of wealth, he ignored everything except money. Knowledge was an elder with rich experience and extensive knowledge. When the other feelings got problems, he could always solve the difficulties for them. Everyone treasured him. Vanity was superficial. She liked to show off her property. All the other feelings had their characteristic personality. Despite their temperaments, they did not interfere with one another’s affairs. They were very contented with their simple life. Love was a person who had a lot of social contact. He liked to communicate with others because in a way, he had all the emotions what the others had, and he often felt that everyone valued him very much. He thought that he was the most important feeling in the world. Love assumed his superior position until a catastrophe occurred in the island. He thought it is human nature to love someone and be love by the others, and love could surmount any obstacle. One day, it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink soon. The feelings suddenly became busy. They were preparing their boats and get ready to leave. They were all ready to leave in a couple of days except Love. Love wanted to stay on the island until the last possible moment. He was very certain that he would be helped by the others. He thought that no one would be hardhearted enough to leave love behind. When the island was about to sink, Love decided to ask for help. Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat. Love said, “Richness, can you take me with you?” Richness answered hurriedly, “No, I can't. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place for you.” “But…”without waiting for Love to finish his sentence, Richness had departed swiftly from the coast. Love did not feel dejected yet. He saw that many feelings were still on the beach getting ready to leave. He firmly believed that he was indispensable to everyone. Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel. “Vanity, please help me! I don’t have a boat!” “I can't help you, Love. Look! You are all wet and dirty! You might foul my boat!” Vanity answered indifferently. Love tried to persuade Vanity in vain. But she did not pay any attention to Love at all. Just then, Sadness was slowly dragging herself along the beach to her boat. Love pleaded, “Let me go with you, Sadness! If you keep me as your company, you won’t be sad any more. I’ll make you happy.” “Oh! Love, I am so sad that I want to be alone by myself! Don’t bother me, please!” Sadness said grieved. At this moment, Happiness was skipping Love too. He was so happy that he did not even hear that Love was calling her! Love was deep in disappointment. Not long since then, Love took himself to be an essential feeling to everyone. But in front of a great danger, no one had misgiving about him. Suddenly, Love heard a faint voice, “Come, Love, I will take you.” It was an elder. He anchored along the beach and invite Love to go with him. During the trip, the elder was concerned with Love very much. He showed a kind anxiety for Love’s comfort. Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that he even forgot to ask the elder his name. When they arrived at a safe island, the elder bid Love farewell and went on his way slowly but peacefully. Love realized how much he appreciated the elder for his help. But he really did not know who the elder was. Love remembered that Knowledge is an erudite person, so he went to visit Knowledge. Love asked Knowledge, “Everyone left me in the imminent danger, but he rescued me from the danger. Do you happen to know who he is?” “It was Time,” Knowledge answered. “Time?” said Love. “But why did Time help me?” Love asked doubtfully. Knowledge smiled with his usual wisdom. He went on and answered, “Time is the only one who can understand .”

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自己写的故事吗?

虽然我看不懂,不过这种原创精神要支持一下~

OBBY,小强,小静,故城大哥,几位E文水平高的同学来点评一下了~

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写的很好,文笔流畅,用词准确,可见作者有很强的英文功底和文字组织能力。

从文学欣赏的角度来看,有以下几点意见:

1,故事中的几个“人物”文中都有介绍和描述,唯独最据光辉形象的Time确没有任何铺垫,只在关键的时刻默然出现;

2,既然Love是众人推崇,众望所归的“人物”,为什么在灾难到来之前却没有一个愿意伸出援助之手?难道说灾难面前Love也是可以随意抛弃的?

3,一上来各个“人物”就被贴上标签,似乎毋须多言便知各自会做什么样的事情。“人物”的各自特点先天缺乏深度;

4,按照通常的习惯,Love用做女性似乎更让人能接近。

说心里话,除了欣赏英文写作外,故事的内容看的有点压抑。而且最后的哲理性语句不够强。

个人观点,不中听的地方别在意

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坦白说,我的英语水平还没达到这种高度,就算要我用汉语写一篇带哲理性的文章,我想自己也未必能游戏于汉字之中。

所以我没有太多的评论提供,除了故城所提的意见之外,我想说的是,看着文章,有点近乎中国文言文的感觉。如果能在个别有点口语化的意思,会不会更生动呢?

无论如何,把玩一种语言到了这种程度,真令人佩服。我加精华表示鼓励你的原创。

Eden frees desire but freezes memory; Rock frees soul and freezes fear; Imagination frees mind or freezes bigotry; Careless frees regret then freezes tear. So... just call me ERIC.

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以下是引用故城在2004-4-22 10:41:00的发言:

写的很好,文笔流畅,用词准确,可见作者有很强的英文功底和文字组织能力。

从文学欣赏的角度来看,有以下几点意见:

1,故事中的几个“人物”文中都有介绍和描述,唯独最据光辉形象的Time确没有任何铺垫,只在关键的时刻默然出现;

2,既然Love是众人推崇,众望所归的“人物”,为什么在灾难到来之前却没有一个愿意伸出援助之手?难道说灾难面前Love也是可以随意抛弃的?

3,一上来各个“人物”就被贴上标签,似乎毋须多言便知各自会做什么样的事情。“人物”的各自特点先天缺乏深度;

4,按照通常的习惯,Love用做女性似乎更让人能接近。

说心里话,除了欣赏英文写作外,故事的内容看的有点压抑。而且最后的哲理性语句不够强。

个人观点,不中听的地方别在意

谢谢你的中肯意见,这篇文章我写了很久,是我的作业,呵呵。我的班主任也是像你一样评价我的这篇文章的。事实上我写议论文和哲理性文章都是弱项,所以较为文艺腔,希望你们见谅。

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以下是引用ericdeng在2004-4-22 12:04:00的发言:

坦白说,我的英语水平还没达到这种高度,就算要我用汉语写一篇带哲理性的文章,我想自己也未必能游戏于汉字之中。

所以我没有太多的评论提供,除了故城所提的意见之外,我想说的是,看着文章,有点近乎中国文言文的感觉。如果能在个别有点口语化的意思,会不会更生动呢?

无论如何,把玩一种语言到了这种程度,真令人佩服。我加精华表示鼓励你的原创。

谢谢你的设精,而事实上我写英文老是想到中文的写作方法,而写中文时又常会想到英文的表达方式。所以我的英文教师和中文教师都对我的文章提出了这方面的意见。

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楼主是英文系的学生吗?

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以下是引用凭海临风在2004-4-23 9:12:00的发言: 谢谢你的设精,而事实上我写英文老是想到中文的写作方法,而写中文时又常会想到英文的表达方式。所以我的英文教师和中文教师都对我的文章提出了这方面的意见。
不客气。其实我也感到疑惑。可是当我跟别人谈话的时候,却没有这个问题。原因是,当我用母语也好,普通话也好,英语也好,我的思维方式就会自动进入那种语言的状态。或许这会对你有帮助吧。
Eden frees desire but freezes memory; Rock frees soul and freezes fear; Imagination frees mind or freezes bigotry; Careless frees regret then freezes tear. So... just call me ERIC.

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是一篇翻译习作吧?~~

加油!

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[move][B][color=#F87C2A][size=3]过年啦~~ :)[/size][/color][/B][/move]

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以下是引用菁菁在2004-4-23 11:12:00的发言:

楼主是英文系的学生吗?

刚相反,我读的是理科,呵呵。只是喜欢胡言乱语一番。

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